10 Marriage Tips Every WIFE Needs to Hear

10 Marriage Tips Every WIFE Needs to Hear

It takes work to have a healthy marriage, but it is possible. Just like good nutrition and regular exercise can help you to have a healthy body, there are things you can do to have a healthy marriage. family

Here are 10 tips you can use to strengthen your marriage:

  1. Forgive.  - No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. If you make forgiveness a habit – for everything from major mistakes to little annoyances (every day, I have to forgive my husband for leaving the wet towel on the bathroom counter ;)) – you will keep resentment from growing.
  2. Over-communicate.  - I used to have a bad habit of not speaking my feelings. I played the standard “You should know why I’m mad” game, and that’s just downright unfair. Men are not wired like women, and they DON’T always know that they’ve been insensitive. I’m still growing in this area, and there are often times when my husband has to pry something out of me, but I’m trying to remember that I need to just communicate how I feel.
  3. Schedule a regular date night.  - This one isn’t new, but it’s very important. Never stop dating your spouse.  Even if you can’t afford dinner and a movie (which we seldom can), spending some regular one-on-one time with your spouse is essential. Don’t talk about bills, or schedules, or the kids. Frankie and I often daydream about our future, or plan our dream vacation. We connect emotionally and often learn something new about each other – even after four years.
  4. Never say the “D Word”.  - If you’re gonna say it, you better mean it. Plain and simple, threatening divorce is not fighting fair. I did this a lot in my previous marriages. I’m not proud of it, but I learned better. I was hurting deeply, and I wanted to hurt back, but it never helped me feel better.
  5. Learn his love language.  - Everyone has a love language. The way you perceive love is often different from the way your spouse perceives love. Does he like words of affirmation, or does he respond better when you give him gifts? Whatever his love language is – learn it and USE IT.
  6. Never talk negatively about him.  - I learned this lesson the hard way too. If you’re going through a difficult time in your marriage and you need advice, see a counselor. Family counseling is a great tool, but try to remember that your family members and friends are not the most objective people to give advice. The argument they are hearing is one-sided and they often build up negative feelings toward your spouse, which usually doesn’t subside once you and your husband have gotten past it. Protect his image with those that you’re close with and seek help from those that can actually be objective.  News flash, ladies – your mother cannot be objective!row-of-hearts
  7. Choose to love.  - There are times in a marriage that you may wake up and not feel in love anymore. Choose to love anyway. There are times when you may not be attracted to your husband anymore. Choose to love anyway. Marriage is a commitment. In sickness and health, in good times and in bad. Those vows are sacred. They don’t say “if you have bad times”. They say “in good times AND in bad”, implying that there WILL be bad times. It’s inevitable. So choose to love anyway. He’s worth it.
  8. Respect your husband.  - Notice how it doesn’t say “Respect your husband if he has earned it”. A man’s greatest need in this world is to be respected, and the person he desires that respect from the most is his wife.  The trap that we’ve all been ensnared by is that they only deserve our respect when they earn it. Yes, we want our husbands to make decisions that will ultimately garner our respect, but the truth is that your husband is a human being. A human being who makes mistakes. This is the man that YOU have chosen to walk alongside you for the rest of your life, and to lead your family and he needs to be respected for that quality alone. Take it from me – when respect is given even when he doesn’t deserve it, it will motivate him to earn it. That doesn’t mean you pretend that his choices are good ones when they aren’t. Things like that still need to be communicated, but you can flesh out your differences WITH RESPECT. It makes all the difference in the world to him.
  9. Guard your heart.  - The grass is not greener on the other side. Do not believe the lie that with a slimmer figure, a higher salary, a faster car, or a bigger house, you will be a happier woman. The world is full of things and people that will serve as reminders that you don’t have the best of the best, but it’s simply not true. Live the life you’ve been blessed with, and BE THANKFUL. I get that we all have struggles, and there are even times when I would love 1,000 more square feet of house to live in, but square feet is not fulfilling – relationships are. Guard your heart from things and people that will try to convince you that your life or your husband is not good enough.  There will always be bigger, faster, stronger, or shinier – but you’ll never be satisfied with more until you’re fulfilled with what you have now.
  10. God, husband, kids…in that order.
family 2_r2_c2I know this isn’t a popular philosophy, especially among mothers, but hear me out. It’s no secret that my faith is of utmost importance, so God comes first in my life no matter what. But regardless of your belief system, your husband should come before your kids. Now unless you’re married to someone who is abusive  (in which case, I urge you to seek help beyond what my blog can give you), no man in his right mind would ask you to put your kids aside to serve his every need while neglecting them. That’s not what this means. When you board an airplane, the flight attendants are required to go over emergency preparedness prior to takeoff. When explaining the part about how to operate the oxygen mask, passengers are instructed to first put the mask on themselves before putting it on their small child. Is that because they think you are more important than your kids? Absolutely not. But you cannot effectively help your child if you can’t breathe yourself. The same holds true with marriage and parenting. You cannot effectively parent your children if your marriage is falling apart. Take it from me – I tried. There will also come a time when your kids will leave the house to pursue their dreams as adults. If you have not cultivated a lasting relationship with your spouse, you will have both empty nests and empty hearts.   happy-marriage   via Eighth Rising.

About Robin

I have been blogging for over 2 years. My goal with blogging was so that I could bring the stories that matter, the stories that make a difference and the stories that put spotlight on achievement and success.

One comment

  1. Shantelle walker

    Oh now YOU KNOW I GOT SOMETHING 2 SAY ABOUT THIS TOILET PAPER. 1st.of FORGIVENESS is a 2way street. 4give gun 4 leaveing dirt drawers on the floor. Hell i can even 4give the fact that he KNOWS NOTHING about FIXING A CAR. BUT an I REPEAT.. if HE CHEAT. His AZZ OUTTA HERE.
    2ND. IF YOU STUPID ENOUGH 2 EVEN THINK THAT ANOTHER WOMEN EVEN KNOW WAT YOU ARE THINKING. THEN YOUR CRAZY AN SHOULD BE SUCKER PUNCHED IN UR EAR.
    3RD.. DATE NIGHT. IN MY HOUSE ITS A DATE WHEN THE LAST KID OUT THE HOUSE. DATE I GET WHEN WE CLOSE THE DOOR 2 THE BEDROOM. AN IN THIS ECONOMY. THE ONLY THING I CAN AFFORD IS A 99CENT BURGER OR 35CENT PACK OF OODLES OF NOODLES.
    4TH. NEVER SAY THE “D” WORD. I AGREE AS LONG AS HE NOT CHEATING.
    5TH. AGAIN RECESSION COMES 2 TERMS. SO THE ONLY LOVE LANGUAGE MY HUSBAND NEEDS 2 HERE. ONLY INVOLVES MY HEAD.LOL
    6TH.. ILL ALWAYS CHOOSE 2 LOVE HIM. BCOS I LEARNED A LONG TIME AGO. THAT WHAT YOU DONT DO ANOTHER WOMEN CAN/SHALL/ WILL DO. NOT 2 MENTION. IN THIS DAY AN AGE POSSIBLY A MAN 2 DO IT ALSO. LOLOL
    7TH. I DONT TALK BAD ABOUT HIM 2 ANY1. I LEAVE THat NEWS 2 AN 4 HIM. IM AN OUTSPOKEN GROWN WOMEN. AN YOU GET NO WHERE IN LIFE SITTING ON UR BUTT. An YOU POINT WILL NEVER BE MADE BEING QUIET.
    8TH SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS 1. Respect is a 2way street. Im only gonna treat a man like a man. If that is ur title in my life.
    9th bullshit. Of course the grass is always greener. If it wont then you wouldnt want it. Stop lying 2 urself. JUST REMEMBER. IT MITE BE GREENER. BUT YOU REALLY DONT WANNA CUT IT. ITS DIRTY WORK. STICK WITH WHAT YOU HAVE. YOU CHOOSE IT. NO TURNING BACK NOW. DONT BE A PUNK. OR WEAK.
    10. NOW I BELIEVE THAT GOD COME 1ST. AN AS LONG AS UR HUSBAND FOLLOWES GOD. THEN YOU FOLLOW HIM. BUT THE WAY I UNDERSTAND IT. ITS
    GOD
    HUSBAND
    WIFE
    KIDS
    CHURCH
    ALL OTHERS.
    AN EVEN IF YOU DONT THINK THIS ORDER IS RITE. 4 YOU.
    BELEAVE ME WHEN I SAY “WHO CARES” I FOLLOW IT. AN MY HOUSEHOLD IS IN CHECK. IF YOU READING THIS AN DONT AGREE. THATS YOU BUSINESS. I WISH YOU LUCK CAUSE ME AN MINE ARE GREAT.

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